


Use Your Imagination

by headlostintheclouds



Series: Crack Attack [5]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Crack, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Kitchen Sex, Lapdance, M/M, Mild Smut, No Beach Divorce, Nudity, One Word Prompts, Telepathy, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 09:56:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headlostintheclouds/pseuds/headlostintheclouds
Summary: All the kids in the mansion were either in class or playing outside; the two were all alone in the kitchen.Finally.☆☆☆Word prompt:chair





	Use Your Imagination

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't even know what this is. It's a lazy excuse for crack but it's also a lazy excuse for actual writing. So I guess it's both! This is not to to be taken seriously cuz it's shit mkay.
> 
> I explain anything that might be confusing in the end notes if you're interested. 
> 
> This was inspired by a tweet I saw (also explained in the end notes) and title is taken from the song Imagination by Foster The People. Listen to that song cuz it's good and a lot of the lyrics fit this so eheheh 
> 
> Find me on Instagram @pietromaxicough
> 
> And once again, I'm so sorry for what you're about to read.

All the kids in the mansion were either in class or playing outside; the two were all alone in the kitchen.

Finally.

Charles was sitting down at the table, staring a hole into Erik's back, as Erik stood at the counter making himself a sandwich. 

"Charles, it doesn't take a telepath to know what you're currently thinking."

((What _am_ I thinking then, Erik?))

Sometimes having the power of telepathy is really fun, Charles thought to himself.

Erik finally sat down across from him at the table and stared deep into his eyes. They began mentally conversing. To anyone else who walked in at that moment it probably looked like an intense staring contest. Or eyefucking. It depended on the kind of person who walked in.

**((You're thinking of me, naked, in this very kitchen.))**

((No. Not what I was thinking.))

It was exactly what he was thinking, but Erik didn't have to know that.

**((But you wouldn't mind if that came true, would you Charles?))**

Charles didn't need to confirm that. Erik was already ripping off his shirt. 

((You eager beaver. Slow down, or you might actually tear something.))

"I don't care at this point," Erik exclaimed out loud, in a rush to get everything off.

Charles stood up and was just about to join Erik in getting rid of his own clothes, when suddenly Erik came over and pushed him back down.

"Stay right there. I would like to try something," Erik practically purred out.

Charles was curious and admittedly a little scared. It's Erik. Bloody anything could happen. He could have just read Erik's mind to see what he was about to do, but he decided to keep it a surprise for himself. 

Erik was fully naked then, and sauntered over to Charles in the chair. He straddled his lap and started to slowly grind his hips down on Charles' rapidly growing erection. It should have undoubtedly been uncomfortable rubbing himself up against Charles' jeans, but Erik showed no discomfort.

Erik leaned down next to Charles' ear and bit at his earlobe. "Read my mind. I dare you, darling," Erik whispered, voice low and seductive.

Charles did what he was asked and was suddenly hit with the image of him being naked too, still sitting in the chair and Erik giving him a full-blown lap dance.

((You might as well be wearing Stilettos while you're at it, Erik.))

Erik gave a little huff of laughter and got straight to work. He circled around a dazed Charles, who was mesmerized by his, well, everything. The long legs, the taut muscles of his stomach, his piercing blue eyes, it was all quite the sight.

Erik re-straddled his lap and started grinding all over again. He placed his hands onto Charles' chest and slowly dragged them down. Erik grasped the hem of Charles' shirt and off it came. Erik managed to get his hands on the waistband of his pants and was just about to pop open the button, when they heard a sudden crack. It sounded suspiciously like wood.

That moment probably would have been the best point to get off the old and creaking chair, but it all happened too quickly. Another creak and a snap was all it took for the poor chair to break. Next thing Charles knew, he collapsed backwards onto the floor with a very naked Erik still on top of him. 

"Oh Lord, Charles are you alright?! _Es tut mir leid, mein Schatz._"

Erik always slipped into German whenever he was stressed. Charles would find it quite cute if he wasn't currently feeling a horrible pain in his back and...a lack of pain in his legs. In fact, he couldn't feel anything in his legs.

"Erik, I can't feel my legs. Why can't I feel my legs? What the fuck just happened?"

☆☆☆

"So moral of the story, Peter: don't ever give your significant other a lap dance on a crotchety old chair. It will end up with them being paralysed from the waist down and they will have to use a wheelchair for the rest of their life."

Erik glanced over to Charles. A whole year later and he still felt as guilty as ever. Charles just gave him a pointed look.

((Erik, if you apologise one more time I _will_ run you over with my chair. I swear I'll do it.))

Erik looked back at his son and continued his talk. "I hope you learned something today, Mister."

"Papa...if you or Dad ever tell that traumatising story ever again in my lifetime, I'm running away from home. I mean that."

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Tweet: posted by **Bitter Talia** @talia_samara  
"Man ends up in a wheelchair after getting a little too rough with his boyfriend #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly" 
> 
> German translation: Es tut mir leid, mein Schatz = I am sorry, my darling/treasure.  
My German lessons in school are really paying off huh
> 
> To make things clear: Erik never deflected that bullet into Charles' back in 1962 and the beach divorce never happened. This occurs in 1973 (and my tiny epilogue at the end with Peter happens in 1974), at the time where in the movies, Charles was taking the drugs and the school was shut down. But in my lil world here, instead of all that the school is open and has been ever since 1962. Charles and Erik run it together as a Power Couple™ and they never went their separate ways. This all occurs before Apocalypse so Charles still has all his beautiful fluffy hair that Erik likes to pet :3
> 
> As for Peter; we're gonna pretend that in 1963, a young, helpless and single mother dropped off her 3 year old speedster rascal (that she had no idea how to care for) at the mansion. Charles and Erik thought he was special and so adopted him as their own. That would make Peter 14 when he's told this story as part of his "birds and bees talk." 
> 
> Okay so I'm very sorry if that doesn't make any sense at all but I tried :)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and putting up with my bullshit! Kudos and comments are all appreciated <3


End file.
